


Two Paths Diverged

by closetcellist, QueenSabriel



Series: Remembrancer AU [1]
Category: Old Kingdom - Garth Nix
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Clayr Library Adventures, Collab, F/F, F/M, ace!Lirael, cute clayr library girlfriends, fic of epic proportions, mega fic, this series is over 250000 words long be prepared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-02-28 12:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2732906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/closetcellist/pseuds/closetcellist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenSabriel/pseuds/QueenSabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the kingdom outside the glacier celebrating the birth of another prince, and fearing the rise of a new enemy, Lirael faces her own struggles, this time finding a slightly different path to walk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Illustrations by Closetcellist

Prologue

_Some whistled notes, redolent with power, drifted down to Lirael and for a nausea-inducing moment she felt as if she herself were flying and must turn into the wind. Then she saw the paperwing come swooping down once more, turn into the wind, and come to a sliding, snow-spraying stop on the terrace – much too close to Lirael’s hiding place for comfort..._

The person in the passenger’s seat climbed wearily out, stretching their arms and legs before moving to help the pilot disembark. At first glance both were so heavily wrapped in furs that Lirael couldn’t tell whether they were male or female, until the pilot straightened, revealing the unmistakable silhouette of a woman eight or nine months pregnant.

Lirael found this surprising. She didn’t know much about the operation of paperwings, but it struck her as one of those strenuous activities pregnant women were generally advised to stay away from. For a moment she wondered if the woman was a Clayr returning home, but no…she was dressed in black and silver martin fur, hardly the Clayr’s usual garb. Her companion wore furs of a red-russet color that Lirael did not recognize, and they both wore blue tinted goggles, not green.

The two figures stepped close for a moment. Lirael was fairly certain the second person was a man, something about his broad shouldered build hinted at that. He was also most likely the father of the baby, judging by the way he tenderly touched first the woman’s cheek, then the swell of her stomach, before turning to take something from the cockpit of the paperwing.

Lirael saw him remove two swords, both of which he hung from his belt before reaching in again. This time he drew out a single sword and – more notably – a leather bandolier. These two items he handed to the woman, helping her sling the bandolier on. Lirael edged forward as much as she dared, ignoring the snow that fell down the back of her collar. As the woman straightened the bandolier (a bit awkwardly, considering her current condition), Lirael very nearly let out a gasp. She could now see that the bandolier held seven tubular pouches, ranging from the size of a pill bottle to the length of Lirael’s hand, each with a mahogany handle sticking out of it. Seven pouches, containing the seven bells of a necromancer.

But even from such a distance Lirael could sense Charter magic focused around the woman. Around her person, the bells, and the sword that now hung at her hip. The weapon was longer than any of the Clayr’s blades, a bastard sword meant to be wielded either with one hand or two. It was also old, and redolent with power.

That was when it struck Lirael who the woman must be. There was only one woman in the Old Kingdom allowed to carry those bells, the woman charged with keeping the Dead down, and reigning in the forces of Free Magic that yet still plagued the realm. Lirael shivered, not from the cold but rather from the realization that she was only about twenty yards from the Abhorsen. And the man, standing so close to her and engaging her with such intimate touches could only be her husband, King Touchstone. Now Lirael remembered hearing something some months ago that the Abhorsen Queen was with child again, though what on earth was she doing here, rather than being back at the palace in Belisaere?

The king and queen pressed even closer to one another. Lirael guessed that they were speaking, but from her vantage point, and with the wind blowing the wrong way she couldn’t make out a word they were saying. They seemed to be waiting, however, though they did not have to wait long. There came a sound to the left, and the door to the paperwing hangar opened, letting out a whole host of Clayr who had obviously come right from the Awakening ceremony.

Lirael’s surprise at the visitors gave way to fear as she recognized the group as some of the highest-ranking and most powerful of the Clayr. At the front she saw the twins Sanar and Ryelle, both were tall, slender and impossibly beautiful. Their golden hair shone brightly in the sunlight, as did the deep color of their skin and the nearly ice-blue of their eyes. Lirael’s surprise only grew when they met Touchstone and Sabriel with friendly embraces,  kissing their cheeks before gesturing behind them, either introducing the other Clayr or giving them a chance to greet the Abhorsen and the King.

While the greetings were happening, Lirael thought she saw the Abhorsen momentarily tense and start to reach for Touchstone’s arm, but she wasn’t sure.

The wind died down, and Lirael found herself able to hear again. “…beautiful, as always,” one of the twins was saying. “We hope you weren’t waiting out here long?”

“Not at all,” Sabriel said. “And it really isn’t all that bad out here. Besides, cold weather isn’t what I should be concerned with.”

Touchstone let out an audible grunt of displeasure. “I tried telling her she shouldn’t be flying in her condition.”

“Unfortunately we don’t have much choice at the moment,” Sabriel said gravely. “There’s trouble in the west again, reports that a necromancer or Free Magic sorcerer has been stirring up trouble as far east as Roble’s Town. Word says that she wears a bronze mask and has raised an army of both the Dead and living servants…” Her voice trailed off.

“We recruited the most powerful Charter Mages we could contact,” Touchstone continued for her. “They’ve already been well on their way south. But if this woman is as powerful as they say, it sounds as though it might require Sabriel’s skill set after all.”

The twins looked at each other, then back at Touchstone, though the smiles they gave him were faint. “Please, why don’t we discuss this somewhere more comfortable…”

“I’m afraid we can’t stay,” Touchstone said.

“I’m afraid you may not have much choice,” Sanar countered, her eyes now on Sabriel.

The Abhorsen gazed back for only a second before she let out a soft gasp, one hand moving to her stomach, the other clutching Touchstone’s arm. “Oh…”

“Sabriel?!” The king wrapped an arm around her, but it only took a moment for his worry to turn to what sounded to Lirael like annoyance. “Oh for Charter’s sake, you’ve got to be – when did the contractions start?”

“Just before we landed, they’re not bad,” Sabriel said, already straightening. She shot her husband a look. “My water hasn’t broken yet. Sameth took forty-eight hours, if you recall…”

The wind picked up once again, and Lirael couldn’t make out the next few bits of the exchange. When they died down, the Abhorsen was speaking again, sounding angry.

“…no other choice, if I do not go and this necromancer is as powerful as they say, many lives will be lost!”

Sanar spoke, her voice firm and more than a little cold. “And if you do go, many lives will still be lost, including the life of your child.”

The silence that met that statement seemed to drag on for an eternity. Lirael could see all eyes were now fixed on Sabriel, who was still staring unwavering at the twins. Touchstone sighed and once again took his wife’s hand, putting his other arm around her shoulders.

“Of course we’re not going,” he said finally. “And I’d bet my crown you all knew that already.”

Ryelle motioned to one of the others, who began opening the larger hangar doors so they could bring the paperwing inside. Sanar stepped forward, ready to take Sabriel’s other arm if she needed it. “We do not mean to keep you from your job,” Sanar said apologetically. “It’s just…this child is important.”

“All of my children are important,” was Sabriel’s rather terse reply. Whether to keep them from seeing the pain that lanced across her face, or simply out of anger, Sabriel had turned away from the others. Unfortunately this meant she was facing Lirael’s hiding spot, and as the Abhorsen opened her eyes, there was a split second when Lirael could have sworn she was looking directly at her. Then she turned back, accepting the help of a Clayr Lirael recognized as one of the chief healers.

“Is something wrong?” Ryelle asked. “You looked confused.”

“I just…thought I saw something in the snow bank over there,” Sabriel said, tilting her head in Lirael’s direction. “A green glint. It’s probably nothing though.”

“Probably,” the twins agreed. “But we can see to it.”

Sabriel and Touchstone followed the other Clayr indoors, but the twins remained. Lirael tried to burrow further into the snow bank, hoping they would just think she was an ice otter or something. But Sanar and Ryelle were striding towards her across the plateau, and they did not look particularly pleased…

***

They did a surprisingly good job keeping Sabriel’s presence a secret. Of course, the news some twenty-four hours later of the bloody battle at Roble’s Town was enough to keep everyone’s minds occupied, though even with that and her new job to think about, Lirael wasn’t likely to forget what she had witnessed on the plateau. As such, she was glad when she ran into the twins in an all but deserted hallway and was able to ask about it.

“She did indeed have the baby,” Ryelle said with a gentle smile. “A little boy.”

“A new little prince,” Sanar added. “Both mother and child are in good health. I am sure the Abhorsen and the king plan on making an official announcement soon.”

Lirael smiled lightly and nodded. “What did she name him?”

“Terciel,” said Ryelle. “After the Abhorsen’s father...”

 

Chapter 1

 

 

Imshi often spent late nights working in the library, as did only a small handful of the other librarians. She was surprised then one evening to see a light on in Lirael's study well after the library had closed to general access. The younger librarian had often stuck in her mind, and so sometime after midnight, Imshi found herself knocking on the door frame, a small tray in her hands.

Lirael had gotten distracted by a book on obscure Charter marks that had been miss-shelved in one of the areas open to general access. She was certain it was meant to be in one of the restricted sections, which made it exponentially more interesting. Absorbed in her reading, the knock on the door startled her, as she hadn't realized how late it was getting. “Come in,” she called softly, wondering who it might be.

Imshi smiled as she stepped into the small study. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to startle you. I just saw you were studying and I had made myself some tea so I made some for you as well..." She carefully set the small tray on the end of Lirael's desk.

"Thank you," Lirael murmured, surprised by the gesture but appreciative. She hesitated for a moment before speaking again, not wanting to put Imshi off when she'd been the nicest of her coworkers so far. "I wasn't really studying."

"Oh?" Imshi smiled at the younger girl. "And what _were_ you doing?"

Lirael was silent for a moment, trying to judge the right way to say 'reading things I'm not supposed to.' She settled on, "Browsing."

"I'm so jealous," Imshi said, absently picking up one of the books and looking it over. "You're so much better at Charter magic than I am."

Lirael looked down, frowning slightly. “But you have the Sight," she said, almost inaudibly. "You can't be jealous of me."

Imshi swallowed, not sure what to say to that. That was a difficult subject she didn’t know how to address, there not being that many instances of Sightless Clayr who remained in the Glacier. Setting the book back down, she shrugged. "It's...not as great as all that." After a moment of awkward silence between the two girls, Imshi shrugged again and asked, "Are you enjoying it here so far?"

Lirael nodded, grateful for the subject change. "It's very interesting," she said, adding in her mind, _‘And usually I don't have to deal with people,'_

"Good,” Imshi said, relieved she’d replied. “I know the Chief likes you, you're a very good worker..."

Lirael smiled at that, ducking her head a little to hide her almost embarrassed joy at the compliment. “I'm very glad to be here," she said softly.

Imshi beamed. "Good. And…I hope you know, if you ever need anything....even if you just want to sit with someone quietly and read—let me know."  
  
Lirael nodded. "I will," she said though she wasn't entirely sure she really would. Imshi was lovely, but she was probably just being polite. Still, that was more than the others usually did.  
  
"Well, I should get back to my inventory..." Imshi said, squeezing Lirael's shoulder before turning and slipping out.

"Did she bring tea cakes?" came the Dog's voice a moment later as she padded over to sniff at the tray.

"Yes, a few." Lirael glanced quickly at the door be make sure no one was listening. Once she’d assured herself they were alone, she smiled, scratching the Dog's head. "She's very thoughtful."  
  
"Very nice," the Dog agreed. "I'd say she likes you."  
  
"She was just being polite," Lirael said, though she blushed at the thought. She offered the Dog a biscuit, hoping that might distract her from the flush.  
  
The Dog snapped up the biscuit then grinned at her mistress. "You think she's pretty."  
  
"Everyone here is pretty," Lirael said reasonably.  
  
"You included, mistress," she said, butting her head against Lirael's side. "And I'd be willing to bet Imshi agrees."  
  
"I don't see how you can possibly know that," Lirael said, though a part of her was certainly interested in the idea. "You're a dog. I'm sure dogs have a different definition of 'pretty.'"  
  
"I've listened in enough to know what the Clayr find pretty," the Dog reasoned, curling up at Lirael's feet. She cocked her head. "You could try getting to know her better, if you wanted."  
  
"I'm not very good at talking to people," Lirael said, which wasn't exactly a revelation to either of them.  
  
The Dog shrugged and lay her head down. "It's good she keeps checking on you then."  
  
"Yes," Lirael said quietly, more to herself than the Dog. "I hope she keeps it up."

Imshi did keep it up, not regularly—they didn't fall into anything like a pattern or routine—but often enough that Lirael found herself looking forward to when they might run into each other again.  
Imshi got mixed reactions from the other Clayr about her interest in the girl. Vancelle was pleased with her openness; her friends found it amusing, an oddly endearing quirk. As with many things, Imshi couldn't quite sort through her own feelings on the matter.

Lirael tried her best to be actively friendly when she spoke to Imshi, though she wasn't sure how successful she was at it. Most often, her efforts resulted in her just speaking longer sentences than she normally would have, except for those few days she found she simply couldn't bring herself to speak at all, something that had nothing to do with Imshi.  
  
Imshi countered these moments by presenting Lirael with a steady supply of paper and pens, and chastising anyone who tried to get Lirael to talk instead of passing notes. This came to a head one afternoon when one of the deputies was clearly close to losing her temper with Lirael. Imshi, who had been across the reading room, swept over and waved her hands at the deputy. "I'll take care of this, Erane; you go work on your reports."  
  
Lirael was frozen, looking down and clutching her pen and papers with half-written explanations and answers to Erane's requests scribbled on them. She had tried to speak at first, but realized fairly quickly that simply wasn't going to happen. She didn't understand why her notes should be a problem; it wasn't as if she was ignoring Erane. But as the other librarian’s irritation grew progressively more obvious, Lirael had simply frozen.

Once Erane left, rather more huffily than was necessary, Imshi approached Lirael, hesitating only a moment before putting an arm around Lirael's shoulders. "Are you alright?" she asked gently.

Lirael nodded, relaxing slightly, though she didn't look up from her papers.  
  
"Now...what were you working on? Sorting the intake letters? Here..." Imshi gathered the papers that Erane had abandoned, and nudged Lirael towards a quiet corner of the room. Lirael sat willingly at the table, accepting the pile of papers from Imshi after setting her own aside. She was prepared to simply get back to work, knowing she wasn't going to be very interesting conversation.  
  
"Do you want me to stay?" Imshi asked.  
  
Lirael hesitated, biting her lip as she traced her finger over the pattern of the wood grain on the table. She did want Imshi to stay, actually, though she knew the other had her own work to do. She pulled her papers back toward her and wrote, _I'm not going to be very interesting_.  
  
"I have some reading to catch up on," Imshi said, sitting across from her. "I'll just keep you company, if that's all right..."  
   
Lirael nodded, smiling slightly as the anxiety from the difficulty with Erane began to dissipate. Every now and then Imshi would glance up from her book and over at the other girl. She quickly chastised herself for it—she was supposed to be helping Lirael, and part of her couldn't help but feel that she was taking advantage, even if it was just a small bit.  
  
Lirael, for her part, didn't notice the glances, focused as she was on her work, simply grateful for Imshi's reassuring presence. She ended up finishing the task fairly quickly, and hesitated, glancing at Imshi. She had plenty of other work to do, but it all involved being somewhere else and she was currently very comfortable. Imshi was bent over her book, absently twirling a curl of her blonde hair around one finger, her brow furrowed slightly—a picture of perfect, absent concentration.  
   
Trying not to get too distracted, Lirael scribbled something on a piece of paper, pushing it toward Imshi, who beamed, reaching for the note. As she took it, she brushed her fingers against Lirael's, probably not entirely by accident, but Lirael didn’t immediately pull her fingers away. All the note said was _I'm afraid I have to go finish my other work. Thank you for staying with me_.

"Of course," Imshi said softly in response to the note.

With a nod, Lirael stood and headed out to sort the returned books, ducking her head to hide her blush behind the curtain of her hair.  
  
Once she was out of sight, Imshi let out a sigh and leaned over, burying her face in her arms for a moment as she tried to quash whatever those feelings were that Lirael had (unknowingly, she'd assumed) caused.

***

  
Over the following weeks, their interactions became more frequent, though most of their encounters were still generally work-related and rather brief. Lirael even found herself drifting over to Imshi for questions she sometimes already knew the answer to, simply as an excuse to create another conversation.  
  
"Hopeless," the Dog said, reappearing after Imshi had left Lirael's study one evening.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lirael said, somewhat sniffily.  
  
"Have you tried holding her hand? Or kissing her?" the Dog asked. She was clearly not about to let it go.  
  
"Of course not," Lirael said, crossing her arms. "I just want her to be my friend. Besides, she's six years older than me. I don't care what you think, I'm certain she's not interested."  
  
The Dog licked her hand. "I think you're wrong. I think she likes that you don't tease her, for one thing."  
  
"Why in the world would I tease her?" Lirael asked. Though she did have a tendency toward eavesdropping, she hadn't really practiced it around Imshi, being more absorbed in figuring out a reason to approach her. As such, she wasn’t all that aware of what others had been saying.  
  
"Well they do tease her about having a little shadow..." The Dog scratched behind her ear, then shot Lirael another mischievous look. "She also sleeps naked, did you know that? Well mostly naked." She tilted her head as though pondering Lirael's reaction, which was to blush, in a combination of guilt at being the apparent cause of Imshi's teasing and embarrassed surprise at the revelation.

"Why would I know that?" she asked defensively. "I _know_ you know I've never slept outside my own room."  
  
The Dog's tongue lolled out for a moment, and she let out something that might have been a laugh, though it was always hard to tell with her. "I just thought it would be information you'd appreciate."  
   
"You're ridiculous," Lirael grumbled burying her head in her arms for a moment. "How do you know that, anyways?"  
  
The dog nuzzled at her ear. "I explore a lot. I was curious what her room looked like."  
   
"You invaded her privacy," Lirael chastised, gently but firmly pushing the Dog’s muzzle away. "What if she'd woken and seen you?"  
  
"I was invisible, she wouldn't have seen me," the Dog replied, sounding entirely unconcerned. "Besides she was asleep."  
  
"You still shouldn't creep into people's bedrooms," Lirael said, exasperated.  
   
"I was bored. Maybe if we adventured more often..."  
   
"I'm sorry I've been neglecting you," Lirael said, giving in and reaching over to scratch her behind the ears. "I'll plan something for us to do tomorrow, all right?"  
  
The Dog let out a happy woof, jumping up to lick Lirael's cheek, which she almost immediately wiped clean. "Excellent. That's all I ask."  
   
Lirael laughed, the Dog’s enthusiasm infectious. "I have to keep you out of trouble somehow."  
   
"And I'll do the same," the Dog promised, sounding mostly serious.  
  
"I appreciate that." Lirael smiled, before yawning widely. "Though I don't think I'll be getting into too much trouble tonight."  
  
"You could get into trouble with Imshi, I wouldn't feel jealous," the Dog said before ducking out of the way.  
  
Lirael huffed and contemplated throwing a pillow at her, though that seemed a waste, as the Dog sometimes liked to chew on things that were tossed. "I'm not going to get in trouble with Imshi. I'm not going to get in trouble with anyone. You seem to know so much about everyone else, I don't know why you don't know that about me."  
  
"I do; I'm only poking fun..." she said, with a small whine, before she padded back over and laid her head in Lirael's lap.  
  
"It isn't really that much fun," Lirael grumbled, somewhat sourly, though her sigh and gentle, absent-minded petting belied its seriousness.  
  
Her friend let out a long sigh, then nuzzled her side. "I'm sorry, Mistress, I didn't mean to upset you."  
   
"I know," Lirael said quietly. "It's just that I have enough trouble talking to Imshi already. Even if she was interested, she won't be once she finds out I can't even have a normal relationship with someone."  
  
The dog scoffed. "Who says you can't have a normal relationship?"  
  
"You know how interested everyone here is in sex," Lirael sighed, picking at a spot of fuzz on her blanket. "No one's actually said it yet, but it's not going to be a surprise when they do."

"I could tell you about other Clayr's peculiarities if it would make you feel better," the dog said, sitting back.  
  
"That seems very much like talking behind peoples' backs," Lirael said, and while she was tempted, because it probably would make her feel better, it might also make interacting with them much more difficult later on. If, for example, while working with Erane she imagined her doing something surprising and naked she was sure she’d never manage to say a single word ever again to the other librarian.  
  
"Hrumph." The Dog made a face. "Well, what are we doing tomorrow night? What depths will we be forging through?"  
  
"There's that corded door in the North wing of the library we haven't tried yet," Lirael suggested, her tone turning now to muse on something much more pleasant.  
  
"Mmm yes! Even the deputies don't get to go in there," the dog said excitedly.  
  
"We'll have to go after the library's cleared out for the night," Lirael pointed out.

The Dog let out another woof and licked her hand. "Then I shall eagerly anticipate it."  
  
Lirael grinned at her. “Me too," she admitted. As dangerous as her hobby could be, it really was exhilarating, and absolutely never boring.

 


	2. Chapter 2

While most Clayr lamented how large the Watches seemed to be getting lately, Lirael relished it, because more often than not this meant there were far fewer librarians around and far less of a chance that she and the Dog would be intercepted on one of their adventures. Such was the case the day after their conversation regarding Imshi, and after Lirael had finished her duties for the evening, she and the Dog made their way quietly and completely unnoticed to a corded door in the lower levels of the North wing.

At least, Lirael _thought_ they were unnoticed.

Despite being considerably strong in the Sight (stronger in that by far than she was in Charter magic), Imshi hadn’t been one of the Clayr called to the Watch that evening. She took a certain appreciation of quiet nights in the library as well—it was nice to go about her work without bumping into her more chatty coworkers, and she felt reassured by the small glimpses of Lirael she would catch every now and then and the smiles they exchanged.

Except sometime after ten or so, Imshi realized that she hadn’t seen Lirael in at least an hour. Of course it was entirely possible that Lirael had simply left without checking out, but that wasn’t like her. She began to check the usual corners of the library, and finally thought she caught Lirael’s voice as she peeked into the dark and little-used northern corridor.

Imshi frowned and started down the hall. There was Lirael’s voice again, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing. By the time she rounded the last corner and descended a small flight of stairs, there was no sign of the younger girl—instead there was a large door standing ajar, and on the floor in front of it one of the velvet ropes the Chief used to seal off dangerous areas. Worry, anger, and curiosity blossomed simultaneously in her chest, and she summoned a small light before starting after Lirael.

***

On the other side of the door had been another staircase, down which Lirael and the Dog proceeded, led by a steady, warm Charter light. At the bottom all they found was a large, nondescript stone room, empty except for a round hole in the center of the floor, perhaps three feet in diameter.

“Well, that’s a bit frightening,” the Dog said, pressing close to Lirael’s side as they edged towards the hole. It looked like a circle of complete and utter darkness laid on the cobblestones. “What do you suppose it’s for?”

“I don’t know,” Lirael said. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as she leaned forward a little, and it took her a moment to realize that the air held a faint tang of Free Magic.

Gesturing, she sent the Charter light skimming out over the hole—or well, or whatever it was—hoping to see something inside. The darkness just appeared darker, as though opposing the presence of the light, and from the depths rose a faint sound, like a breath or a whisper. The Dog let out a low growl, stepping back.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Lirael whispered, following her friend’s retreat. The eerie sound repeated again, growing steadily louder.

The Dog made a confused sound, muttering to herself, “They can’t have one of those in here that would be ridiculous...”

“One of what?” Lirael asked, worriedly. “Dog?!”

“It’s probably—“ But the Dog was cut off by the sound of the doors all the way at the top of the stairs slamming shut with a deep boom, followed a second later by a female voice crying out in surprise.

Lirael whirled around, a different sort of dread filling her as she recognized that voice. There were footsteps now, and her light illuminated a vaguely human outline standing by the base of the stairs. “I-Imshi?!” Lirael asked, tone disbelieving and afraid.

“Oh not good,” the Dog whined. “Oh really, very not good...”

It wasn’t Imshi. The person-shaped silhouette began to expand and grow, like liquid shadows or dark putty, expanding until it loomed over them, no longer even remotely human. Lirael’s light finally glinted off something other than shadow: Imshi’s short sword, buried right to the hilt in the creature’s dark flesh.

“Dog, what is that?!” Lirael asked in a distressed whisper. “Where’s Imshi?!”

The Dog had grown as well, doubling her size and thickening significantly. “A Free Magic thing, a bad one—it grows like rot where magic decays. I seriously doubt it’s what this room originally held. I can smell Imshi but I don’t see...”

As though in answer, the creature swung the lower half of its body around, revealing what looked a bit like a tail; a great appendage that split into dozens of sinuous tentacles, like a nest of snakes. A good number of them were wrapped around something, and as they dragged it into view Lirael saw the something was Imshi, barely conscious and hanging like a ragdoll in the creature’s grasp.

Lirael gasped, now more frightened for her friend than for herself. “I didn’t bring my sword!” she cried, mentally kicking herself while frantically running through all the Charter spells that might possibly stun the creature.

“I could try to grab Imshi’s for you,” said the Dog, bobbing her head as she tried to see the sword that was still poking out of the creature’s side.

“Would that work?” Lirael asked. “I don’t suppose you could just...scare it away...”

The Dog snorted. “If I scare it away now it’s going to take your girlfriend with it and devour her. You need to make it drop her before it runs.”

“All right,” Lirael said softly, steeling herself. She reached into the Charter and pulled at marks for flame, for hurt, for speed. Lifting her hands she called them forth, and they flew from her fingers in bright bolts.

The creature let out a startled hiss, leaping to try and avoid the bolts, then shrieked when one struck home. For a moment it froze, before it abruptly lashed out with one of its many appendages, which hardened into something like obsidian before the creature swung it at Lirael.

The blow connected with Lirael’s arm and she stumbled, but didn’t fall. Briefly she considered creating a fire around the thing, but that would be dangerous for Imshi as well. Instead she created a whirlwind, whipping small pebbles and loose chips of mortar from the ground at the creature. This tactic seemed to work. Disoriented, the thing flailed around, trying to shield the center of its body which seemed to be vulnerable.

Luckily the flailing caused it to drop Imshi so it could use it’s tail to fend off the stones. Jarred when she hit the floor, Imshi looked up just in time to see the creature leap up to the ceiling where it clung, roaring and dripping globs of black ooze.

Imshi screamed, and the Dog rushed forward to grab her by the back of her waistcoat and drag her off to the side.

Lirael was aware of Imshi only enough to know that she was now out of harm’s way. Focusing on the creature, Lirael began to pull fire marks again, stronger ones, ones for conflagration and total consumption. She threw them at the creature with a cry, and watched as it caught fire as though it had been covered in oil. It let out a piercing wail before dropping into the hole in the floor. There were several minutes of it’s steadily diminishing howls, before a loud hissing sound, and finally silence.

Lirael stood absolutely still, trying to hear any indication that the creature was still alive. Instead what she heard were Imshi’s frightened and barely stifled sobs. Lirael looked over, eyes widening as three facts pushed to the front of her mind: First, that Imshi might be hurt; second, that Imshi was never going to speak to her again; and third, that she was most certainly going to be fired.

Imshi, too stunned to get up for a moment, hugged her knees to her chest, wiping a hand over her face. After a second it became apparent that she was trying to speak, and managed finally, “L-l-lirael wh-what...”

“Are you all right?” Lirael asked weakly as she knelt by the other girl.

Ignoring her question, Imshi simply threw her arms around Lirael, hugging her tightly for several breaths before she sat back. “What were you doing down here?!”

“I was just exploring.” Lirael could feel tears welling in her eyes, and didn’t know whether she was relieved that Imshi seemed to be all right, or if she was still terrified about what would happen now.

Imshi reached out, brushing Lirael’s hair back from her face. “Are _you_ all right?”

“I’m fine,” Lirael said, trying furiously to wipe the tears from her face, but they just seemed to keep falling. “We should go back.”

“Yes,” Imshi said. While Lirael was falling apart, she seemed to be regaining her composure. Her brow furrowed. “Oh...sweetheart, please don’t cry you’re...” Abruptly she blinked, focusing on the Disreputable Dog for the first time. “You...you have a dog.”

“Y-yes,” Lirael choked out, embarrassed to find herself crying in earnest now. “P-please don’t tell anyone! Sh-sh-she’s my b-best friend and and they’ll take her away...”

“Oh no...” Imshi sighed and simply pulled Lirael into her arms again, holding her close and rocking gently.

Lirael wasn’t sure how long they remained like that, but finally she managed to regain control of herself and drew back, ducking behind the fall of her hair. “We really should go back,” she murmured, and wiped her face on her sleeve.

“We can’t tell anyone,” Imshi said as they got to their feet and started back out of the strange room. As they reached the top of the stairs, Imshi ran her fingers through her hair, causing the mass of blonde ringlets to stick out a bit wildly. “I lost my sword...oh well, I suppose I can just forge the paperwork for a new one so the Chief won’t notice...”

“I’m sorry,” Lirael said, nervous despite the fact that Imshi didn’t seem too angry at her. “It’s my fault...”

Imshi blinked at her slowly. “What? You saved my life, what are you apologizing for?”

“You wouldn’t have been in danger at all if I hadn’t gone down there!”

“I wouldn’t have been in danger if I hadn’t followed you like an idiot,” Imshi said dismissively.

Lirael decided they weren’t going to get anywhere with this discussion, and let it go. “I’m sorry you lost your sword,” she said as they headed through the door. She looked around for the rope to reattach it.

Imshi spotted the rope and passed it over, then moved to pat the Disreputable Dog on the head, scratching behind her ears as well.

“I like her, Mistress!” yipped the Dog after a moment.

Imshi let out a startled scream, clapping both hands over her mouth.

“It’s all right,” Lirael said quickly, looking over at them. “She’s really very nice, she’s not a bad thing.”

“She talks,” Imshi whispered. “You have a talking dog.”

The Dog woofed, then sat down and scratched behind one ear with her hind foot.

Nervous once again, Lirael didn’t realize she was clutching the rope to her chest. “Please, please don’t tell anyone...”

“Oh...” Imshi tore her curious gaze from the dog to look at Lirael. “What? Why would I?”

“I don’t know,” Lirael murmured, turning to finally re-attach the rope. Then she looked down at her feet, picking nervously at her fingernails.

“You’re very important to me, I don’t want to get you in trouble,” said Imshi, so quietly she wasn’t sure Lirael had heard. She added a bit louder, “Come on, we really should...”

Lirael nodded, then looked surprised when Imshi offered her hand. Hesitating only a moment, Lirael took it, twining their fingers. “Are you sure it didn’t hurt you?” she asked, ignoring the amused looks Dog was giving them.

“I’m sure,” Imshi said. She let out a breath, absently rubbing her thumb over the back of Lirael’s fingers. Imshi let out a sad little laugh. “I’m sure I’ll have nightmares though.”

Lirael nodded in agreement, though she looked down, her gaze focused on their entwined fingers. Despite her continuing worry, she was fairly sure she felt a blush rising in her cheeks. She remained quiet until they reached the main hall outside the library, and reluctantly Lirael slipped her hand from Imshi’s.

“It really is all right,” Imshi tried to reassure her, seeing the expression still pinching the younger girl’s face. Imshi offered Lirael a smile—small, but still enough to bring a dimple to one cheek.

Lirael gazed at her for a moment longer than she probably should have, but nodded. “Yes. I guess...I...should probably get to bed.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Imshi said, then leaned forward to give Lirael a light peck on the cheek. “Good night!” And before Lirael could react, Imshi had hurried off down the hallway.

Lirael touched her cheek, eyes wide before she forced herself to turn and walk into her room, the Dog close on her heels.

“Stupid, stupid!” The Dog said, though her tone was teasing. “You just had the perfect opportunity.”

“What? Shut up,” Lirael grumbled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. _I_ don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The Dog wrinkled her snout, then shook her head and hopped up onto the bed. “Have it your way then.”

Lirael glared at her, but yawned as a sudden wave of exhaustion hit. She found herself crawling into bed without even bothering to change.

“You’re blushing again,” the Dog said, peeking one eye open. “I think you like her.”

“She is very...” Lirael almost said ‘pretty,’ and it was true, but that just made her blush harder. “She’s very nice.”

The Dog sighed heavily.

Lirael sighed right back at her. “I suppose this means I have to talk to her about things.”

“You could always write her a nice note,” the dog said sleepily. It was hard to tell if she was joking or not, but Lirael was beginning to think that might not be a bad idea. She certainly knew she had to do _something,_ though not before she had a good night’s rest.


	3. Chapter 3

Imshi passed a rough night, not sleeping nearly as well as she could have hoped. She showed up at work the following day looking exhausted and under the weather, though she made enough excuses to keep the other librarians from questioning her. She found herself having difficulty focusing on her work, in part because of the exhaustion, and in part from her worry that she had done something to upset Lirael, as they continued to not run into each other for most of the day. Imshi found herself desperately hoping that Lirael would show up and say something, anything, to relieve the worry that kissing her on the cheek had been a bad idea.

Lirael, for her part _had_ thought about avoiding Imshi; but that seemed cowardly and she didn’t actually want to, she soon realized. Though she did slink about more quietly than usual, she didn’t actively avoid Imshi, and tried to use the time to figure out what she was going to say. By the end of the day, Lirael had resolved to talk to Imshi about what had happened. They were finishing their final tasks for the day when she approached Imshi and asked, “Will you come to my study?” hoping to have the conversation in some semblance of privacy, as much as might be gotten in the Glacier.

"Of course," Imshi said, putting the last of her things away. As Imshi followed the younger librarian, she nervously tugged on a curl of her hair, a habit that Lirael would have thought adorable, if she had been paying attention.

Once they reached her study, Lirael slipped inside and closed the door after Imshi. “So, last night…” she started, somewhat hesitantly.

Imshi lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry, that was incredibly out of line for me, I shouldn't have assumed..."

"I really like you," Lirael cut her off, quietly. She wasn't sure yet how to introduce the rest and so just let that statement hang there for a moment.

Cheeks burning, Imshi looked up at her. "You...you do?"

Lirael nodded, feeling a blush rise on her own cheeks. Now was the hard part. "Yes. But..." She glanced up and saw Imshi biting her lip, looking at Lirael worriedly, and forced herself forward. “But I don't...I can't... I don't want to have sex with anyone. And I know that's a big deal, so if you don't like me anymore, I'll understand."

"Oh..." Imshi let out the breath she'd been holding and smiled. "That's all?"

Lirael blinked, surprised. That was entirely different from the reaction she’d been expecting. "Yes?" she said uncertainly. "I thought...is it not a-a problem?"

Imshi shrugged. "I don't see why it should be. To be honest I haven't had the greatest experience with sex anyway so..." She waved her hand and sighed. "Sorry, I'm...rambling. What I should be saying is...Charter help me, I like you a lot as well."

Now that having a relationship with Imshi was a real possibility, Lirael found herself blushing even harder. "Do you...do you want to...be my girlfriend?" she asked with all her fifteen-year-old hope.

A smile formed on Imshi's face, erasing much of the exhaustion that had been there all day. "I...I would like that a lot," she said softly.

"Oh," Lirael breathed happily, smiling so widely her cheeks hurt. "I'm so...I have a girlfriend!"

Imshi put her fingertips to her lips and giggled softly. "You're very cute," she said, stepping closer and resting her hands on Lirael's waist.

Lirael covered her face for a moment, embarrassed and overjoyed at the same time. "You're so perfect," she whispered into her palms.

Laughing softly, Imshi reached up to tug her hands from her face, then press a light kiss to the corner of her mouth. At that, Lirael felt tears welling in her eyes again, but these were happy rather than sad. Hesitating only a second, she lightly kissed Imshi back, on the lips this time.

Imshi sighed into the kiss, taking in the feel of Lirael's lips against hers, tracing her fingers lightly over the curve of her back and into her hair, pulling her closer. "You're pretty perfect yourself," she murmured finally. Lirael let out a short surprised laugh at that observation, burying her face in Imshi's shoulder and grabbing her waist-coat tightly, as though hiding from a compliment she couldn’t believe. "I never want to let you go," Imshi continued, resting her cheek against Lirael's hair and holding her just as tight.

"Okay," Lirael whispered. "That sounds really nice."

Imshi laughed softly, rocking her a little. Still, she was unable to stifle a yawn. "Oh...I should...but would you stay with me tonight? I don't care which of our rooms we use, I just...I would like to stay with you."

"Um..." Lirael hesitated, thinking that might be a bit fast, but she had already explained the no sex thing, so it wouldn’t be a problem, right? "Sure. But can it be my room?" She wasn't at all sure she would sleep very well in someone else's bed yet.

Imshi nodded, though she didn't miss Lirael’s hesitation. "I mean..." She said stepping back to look at Lirael, so she would actually be able to see her expression this time. "If you're not comfortable with it..."

"It's fine," Lirael replied, feeling slightly more confident the longer she thought about it. "I sleep with the Dog all the time."

Imshi nodded and smiled again, yawning. "Alright then...shall we?"

Lirael offered Imshi her hand shyly, and led her to her bedroom. Once there, she had another moment of hesitation as she pondered the issue of sleeping clothes, especially given what the Dog had thought was important to tell her the other night regarding Imshi’s usual sleeping habits.

"I can just sleep in my camisole and leggings," Imshi offered after a moment of awkward silence, as though guessing the source of Lirael’s hesitation.

"Okay," Lirael said. That sounded like a reasonable solution, though it only solved part of the problem. She bit her lip before asking quietly, "Will you turn around while I change?"

"Of course." Imshi gave her a tired but understanding smile, and moved to sit on the bed with her back to Lirael. While she waited, she untied her hair and began combing her fingers through it.

Lirael changed a little too quickly, hopping around for a moment as she tried to get her foot out of her shoe. Finally, she announced, "Okay, I'm ready," her hair a little tangled from her rush to change.

Imshi turned around on the bed, waving a hand to dim the Charter light. "Which side do you prefer sleeping on?" she asked with a yawn.

Lirael thought for a moment before replying, "The outside." She was less likely to wake Imshi if she had a bad night that way, she thought, and if she did and woke up first, maybe she could even clean up the mess.

Imshi just nodded and scooted over to take the side by the wall. She slipped under the blankets and lay on her side, folding her hands under her cheek as she waited. Lirael slipped into bed next to her, unsure how she should set herself up for sleep. With the Dog, she just flopped around however her body felt best, but it seemed like a different situation with another person, so she tried lying on her back, glancing at Imshi out of the corner of her eye once she’d settled.

Imshi curled close then, draping an arm around Lirael's waist before she kissed her cheek. "Good night, dearest."

"Good night," Lirael said quietly, smiling a little and closing her eyes.

***

Lirael had hoped that she'd just sleep through the night, but sometime in the early morning, still asleep, she sat up agitatedly and tried to get out of bed, pushing her pillow abruptly to the floor. Imshi was partially woken by the movement and made a soft noise, rubbing her face. "Lirael?" she whispered.

Lirael's eyes were open, but her expression was dim and glazed over and she didn’t respond to Imshi’s call, slowly rising from the bed. She shuffled forward and paused, just standing for a moment in the middle of the room.

"Lirael?" Imshi sat up, looking concerned now. She lit a faint Charter mark and got out of bed, moving to carefully lay a hand on Lirael's shoulder. "Sweetheart, are you awake?"

Lirael again failed to respond, Imshi’s light touch not enough to wake her in this state. She stepped away from Imshi and walked over to her small bedside table, pausing again before reaching out and quite deliberately pushing it over. It might have been funny, if it wasn't so desperately early in the morning.

"Lirael!" Imshi called out more loudly, stepping over and wrapping her arms around her new girlfriend. "Lirael please wake up..."

Suddenly very tense, Lirael pulled against Imshi’s hold for a moment. However, after a minute or so she relaxed and, though she still didn’t seem to be awake, it felt as though she could be led back to bed. Imshi tugged her back to the mattress, guiding her and directing her to lie down. This time Imshi lay on her back, cradling Lirael against her chest and rubbing her back gently. "I've got you..." she murmured, blinking a little in surprise when she felt the mattress dip slightly as the Dog jumped up and padded over to sniff at them worriedly. Lirael just closed her eyes and slipped back into a real sleep, apparently taking comfort from the two warm bodies.

Now that Lirael was calm, Imshi dimmed the Charter light and finally closed her eyes, arms still wrapped around Lirael. The Dog watched them for a few more minutes before lying down across their legs.

Lirael slept peacefully through the rest of the night, and when she woke in the morning, she basked for a moment in the uncommon feeling of arms around her. Imshi was still fast asleep, her hold having loosened slightly so they were both comfortable. The Dog had scooted up a little as well in the night, her head now resting on Imshi's hip. The moment Lirael woke the Dog did as well, giving her a canine smile. "Lucky you," she said softly.

Lirael smiled at her, before whispering, "I thought your first words were going to be 'I told you so.'"

The Dog let out a woofing laugh. "I was thinking it. Are you happy now, Mistress?"

"Yes," Lirael said quietly, snuggling closer to Imshi without really thinking about it. "This is wonderful."

Imshi made a soft, barely waking up noise as she shifted. A moment later the Dog rose, padding to stand over them, and began licking Imshi's face. That woke her up completely. "Dog!" Imshi squealed, covering her face with her hands to try to stop the slobber.

Lirael reached over to push the Dog away, giggling. "Cut it out," she said softly. "You're going to make her not want to stay here."

"You get to put saliva all over her face," the Dog grumbled, trying to wriggle between them and roll onto her back.

Imshi propped herself up on one elbow and giggled. "That's so weird coming from a dog."

"I'm not going to lick her," Lirael protested. "And we've only kissed twice."

"Three times," Imshi said, leaning over to kiss her gently. "Good morning, lovely."

"Good morning," Lirael said, smiling and blushing again. She hoped she might stop that soon. "Did you sleep okay?" 'In my bed,' her mind added happily.

"Mhmm...” Imshi gave her a thoughtful look, rubbing her arm lightly. "What about you?" she asked carefully.

"It was fine," Lirael said, but something in Imshi's expression made her look around. Seeing the toppled end table she sighed and amended, "or maybe it wasn't..."

"You got up once," Imshi said with a slight shrug, trying to make it clear that it was no big deal. "You let me put you back in bed."

Lirael still looked put out. "I was hoping I wouldn't get up at all," she said. "But I guess it could have been worse."

"It happens," Imshi said, brushing Lirael's hair back from her face tenderly.

"I don't think most people wreck their rooms while they're sleeping," Lirael said doubtfully.

"Well, perhaps I can help keep you from doing that?" Imshi offered, taking her hand.

"Maybe," Lirael said, looking at their laced-together fingers. "I don't want to keep waking you up."

"I usually wake up a few times in the night anyway, so don't worry about it," Imshi said. She flushed slightly. "I just have to get used to sleeping with a shirt on..."

"I mean, maybe not forever," Lirael said shyly. "Just for a little while. Until I get used to it."

Imshi kissed her cheek with a sleepy smile. "As long as you need me to. It's certainly not something I can't deal with." She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "Shall we go for breakfast?"

Lirael nodded, smiling at the thought that she'd actually have someone to eat with today. "Yes. We need to get dressed first."

"Mmm, yes probably..." Imshi got up and began collecting her things. She turned once again to keep her back to Lirael as they got dressed. Lirael slipped into her usual librarian's uniform, refusing as usual to wear the blue child's tunic any time other than when she absolutely had to. As her uniform was what she had brought with her, Imshi changed into that as well. "You usually eat in the lower refectory, don't you?" she asked as they headed downstairs. "Would you like to go there?"

Lirael tried to do a very quick comparison of the pros of not being around more of the Clayr and the cons of potentially watching Imshi (her girlfriend, she reminded herself again) get hit on by strangers. "Yes," she said after a small hesitation.

"All right." Imshi smiled and squeezed her hand, leading the way down to the lower refectory and into the food line. Lirael held her hand the entire way there, until they reached the line and she had to actually use her hands for the tray. It was fairly empty at this time of day, with just a few of the tables occupied, but Lirael led them to one that was completely empty anyways.

Imshi sat down beside her and smiled as she dug into her food. She did her best to ignore the looks thrown their way from various visitors, but it was growing difficult as the refectory filled up. Even with the lovely morning she had, Lirael had to fight the scowl that was trying to creep onto her face at the increasing attention. She tried to remind herself that it would probably be worse if they were with the Clayr. Still, when a young man asked if the seat next to her was taken, she very deliberately ignored him, putting her elbow on the table, and resting her head against her hand, essentially making a wall of herself.

Imshi bit her lip, trying to contain her amusement as the young man sidled off, before letting out a soft giggle. "Oh, sweetheart..." she said, shaking her head. "You've got quite a few eyes on you down here."

"I don't know why," Lirael said grumpily. "They don't even think I'm a Clayr."

"Some probably do, at least," Imshi said, nibbling on a piece of toast. "And even if they don't, you're still beautiful."

"Not like you are," Lirael said, glancing up at Imshi and back down at her food. "I wish I looked more like you."

Imshi gazed at her, looking almost sad. It was hard for her to imagine such a beautiful girl thinking she was anything else. "I think you're incredibly lovely," she said softly.

Lirael blushed, but she was smiling again. "I'm glad," she whispered.

Imshi smiled and, in lieu of a kiss as her mouth was now full, touched her forehead lightly against Lirael's, the warm burst of their connecting Charter marks enough to set her flushing again.

The rest of breakfast was finished in relative peace. After the obviously rejection of the first man and how closely they sat together, the others seemed to take the hint and they were generally left alone, even if the stares didn't stop entirely.

After they bussed their trays, Imshi rested her hand lightly on Lirael's back, pressing close to her. The young man who had approached them at the beginning of breakfast was with a group of friends not far behind, and they were heckling him, teasing him for his inability to pick girls who would be at all interested. Lirael continued to ignore them, as she did with any group of people teasing someone, just in case that someone turned out to be her.

Imshi, on the other hand, turned to glance back at them, and when she did one of the young men hooted, "I mean, c'mon, how can you compete with that?"

Lirael sighed as their words reached her, scrunching her shoulders in a little closer, hoping they would get away from them soon. "They're just foolish boys," Imshi murmured, holding Lirael closer to her. She shot a look at the young men, "You wouldn't have a shot even if she didn’t have me."

And that was the last of it as they ascended the stairs back into the non-public areas of the Glacier. “Maybe next time we should eat with the Clayr," Lirael mumbled, forgetting her earlier concerns about that.

"It's up to you," Imshi said as they started towards the library. "We'll probably get bothered less, but people will notice..."

"Do you not want them to?" Lirael asked, not actually sure how she felt about that. It might be nice to be noticed for something that wasn’t how un-Clayr-like she was, but it would probably be best not to be noticed at all.

"I don't mind, if you don't," Imshi said, slipping an arm around her waist.

"I'll think about it," Lirael said. "I don't know how much attention I can handle."

"We could just start eating breakfast in bed," Imshi said with a soft laugh.

"That sounds nice," Lirael said wistfully, "but I think there would end up being a lot of crumbs, which might be uncomfortable."

"We'll figure something out," she said softly, holding the library door open for Lirael.

Lirael slipped inside, waiting for Imshi. "Are you going to tell your friends?" Lirael asked as the thought occurred to her. "Even if we don't go eat breakfast with the others?"

Imshi bit her lip. "I was going to...unless you really don't want me to?"

"You can," Lirael said. "But I don't...you can tell them they don't have to try to include me. I don't do well in conversations where the other person doesn't really want to be talking to me."

Imshi nodded understandingly, and stole another quick kiss before they stepped into the main reading room and separated, each heading off to attend to their separate duties.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Try as they might, Lirael and Imshi were far less subtle than they could have wished. It was hard not to notice as the two used any excuse to work together throughout the day, or walk past each other, or be reaching for the same shelf at the same time...and as much as Lirael enjoyed the more regular than usual glimpses of Imshi (and all the times their hands would just so happen to touch as they moved books around), it was fairly obvious that Imshi’s friends had not only noticed, but were gearing up to do something.

Luckily, Imshi intervened before they had a chance to do more than shoot Lirael thoroughly smug looks.  It was early afternoon when she cornered her friend Yanti and regarded her with a scowl and folded arms. “Don’t you dare.”

“Don’t I dare what?” Yanti asked, meeting Imshi’s frown with a very white, toothy grin.

Imshi pursed her lips. “Bother Lirael. You know how shy she is; please just leave her alone.”

“Weeeell, I certainly don’t know how she’s going to deal with dating you then,” Yanti examined her fingernails innocently. “You’re not exactly unpopular. People are going to want to talk to you.”

“I know that but please, please just don’t make Lirael feel uncomfortable about this,” Imshi said, reaching out to take her friend by the arm. Her frown relaxed into more of a pout. “You’re the one always telling me I need to find someone…”

Yanti looked skeptical. “All right…Though I don’t think she’s exactly what I meant. But if you like people younger than you, maybe that’s been the problem this whole time.”

“That’s not it!” Imshi elbowed Yanti lightly. “She’s sweet and smart and gorgeous…”

“I suppose you’d know best,” Yanti said, still wearing a dubious look. “I promise I will try my hardest not to make her uncomfortable, but if you two are dating I want to talk to her. You can’t stop me.”

Imshi rolled her eyes. “Just don’t…pester her. Or tease her! You can tease me all you like.”

“You’re no fun!” But Yanti did grin at her. “But I’ll make do with teasing you.”

Imshi narrowed her eyes.

“I’m going to come up with something. Probably about you being a cradle robber, but I have to make it funny.”

Fighting back a bemused look, Imshi shook her head. “So I’m dating a girl six years younger than me, and you sleep with whatever attractive man looks your way; we both have our foibles.”

“I suppose if she’s that young she won’t have anything to compare you to,” Yanti mused. “Speaking of sleeping together…”

Imshi’s cheeks flushed and she frowned at Yanti once again, unsure of how to broach the topic. She was fairly certain her friend wouldn’t understand; like the majority of Clayr, Yanti held the opinion that sex was not only fun but something every healthy person participated in. Which probably made it all the more important that they get this conversation out of the way. “We haven’t had sex and we won’t. Lirael doesn’t want to and that’s fine with me.”

“Well, I mean she’s what, fifteen?” Yanti said dismissively. “That’s not all that strange, she’s still fairly young, there’s time.”

Imshi sighed and nodded. She managed a weak smile, and lightly kissed Yanti’s cheek. “Now if you’re going to behave yourself, I need to actually get back to work.”

“Don’t we all?” Yanti asked, laughing lightly and returning the kiss. “I’ll see you later. And your shiny new girlfriend!”

Shaking her head, Imshi slipped off between the shelves, not stopping until she came to where Lirael was working. “Yanti is determined to be a nuisance,” she said, when Lirael peered at her curiously. “She’s very concerned with my love life. Which means you, now.”

“Oh.” Lirael slipped the last of the books she held onto the shelf, and sighed. “Well, I guess she’s not going to like me very much will she?”

“Oh love…” Imshi sat on the middle rung of the step ladder Lirael had been using, and held her arms out. “She’ll like you just fine. She does care about me, and she knows you’re important to me.”

Lirael stepped into her arms, pressing against Imshi and resting her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. She closed her eyes, hoping very hard that what Imshi said was true. After a moment she lifted her head and gave Imshi a quick kiss. “We’re going to be so bad at our jobs now,” she said, grinning a little.

“I just love being near you too much,” Imshi said happily.

“More than books?” Lirael asked, a small, teasing smile on her face.

“Of course I love you more than books,” Imshi said. Then she bit her lip. “I just…well, never mind.”

Lirael tilted her head, reaching out to brush a curl of Imshi’s hair back. “What?”

“I just…” Imshi made an odd face. “I do really like books. More than most people…”

“Oh, well that makes sense,” Lirael said. “You’re a librarian. Most of us like books more than most people. And I like books more than I like people in general.”

Imshi nodded, still making the odd, sort of pinched face she had been. She continued to hug Lirael to her for a moment before getting up to take a stack of books one of the sendings had carried over. Lirael watched her with a worried expression, wondering if she had somehow said the wrong thing.

“I’ll…see you later, I guess.”

“Oh!” Imshi turned then, jarred out of whatever thought had been absorbing her. She smiled. “Of course, dearest, we’ll have lunch together. I’ll come find you.”

***

Imshi did find her around lunch time, bringing with her two sandwiches wrapped in paper and a few pieces of fruit, suggesting that they take their food to the gardens. The gardens were actually inside the glacier, occupying a huge cave heated by steam, whose ceiling was so high that fully grown trees could stand tall, fed from the full spectrum glow of several large Charter lights. Lirael and Imshi took a spot under one of the trees at the edge of a small pond.

"I never know when to come here," Lirael admitted. "It's so nice when it's empty, but it's also very popular, and I know why, but I guess I just don't want to share..."

Imshi nodded, stretching out and reclining back on her elbows after she finished her food. She let out a content sigh. "I'm sorry if I was short with you earlier, when we were talking."

Lirael looked down, biting her lip. "I didn't mean to tease you about books," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have said it."

"Oh, no, it's not you, I just..." Imshi squeezed Lirael's hand, but her cheeks had darkened. "It's just a bit embarrassing. It's...I mean I really like the way they feel and smell and just being around them. Really like it."

Lirael pondered that. It still made sense to her, she had learned fairly quickly that Imshi was a rather touch oriented person, being sensitive to things like the texture of food and particular cloths and the like. She still couldn't quite understand why Imshi looked so flustered about it though.

"I just..." Imshi looked down, her voice dropping to an awkward, quick little whisper, "I find it almost arousing sometimes."

"Oh. All right." Lirael tried to look supportive. She didn't quite understand, but then again she didn't find the so called 'usual' things like breasts or penises arousing either.

Imshi continued to silently stare at her hands, finally picking a blade of grass and twirling it between her fingers. Lirael reached out, squeezing her hand. Imshi glanced up at her then and said softly, "I've never really talked about it before. You don't think I'm horribly strange, do you?"

"No," Lirael said with a shrug. "But I don't really find anything arousing, so I'm not one to judge. I mean, obviously other people have a pretty solid pattern, but it doesn't make any more sense to me than books. But I'm pretty sure you're fine." She smiled then, and Imshi looked relieved.

"We're quite a pair, aren't we?" Imshi asked as she began to collect their things.

Lirael's smile turned into a grin. "I think we're perfect."

***

Outside of Imshi's friends, their relationship was still relatively secret for the time being. However, since they had made a quick habit of sleeping in Lirael's room, Imshi also began to voice the opinion that it might be worthwhile to request a larger one. That prospect was a little more daunting to Lirael, as it meant letting more people become aware of their relationship, and making it in at least some way official.

She had just about gotten herself comfortable with the idea of everyone in the glacier knowing (she knew news like this would not stay among just a few Clayr), when the Nine Day Watch announced not just one, but two Awakenings practically on top of one another. Try as Lirael might to not let this bother her the way it used to, she found herself slipping back into that familiar, oppressing depression.

It never really crossed Imshi's mind to not attend an Awakening, so when she found Lirael sitting on her bed instead of getting ready, Imshi stared at her in surprise. Imshi herself was already dressed in her white ceremonial robes, a silver and moonstone circlet resting on her hair.

"What's wrong?" Imshi asked, breezing over and tilting her head worriedly.

Lirael, still dressed in her librarian's waistcoat, was staring at the floor. "I'm not going," she whispered. It was horribly rude she knew, but it wasn't as though she hadn't skipped out on them before. Worse yet, the Dog had decided that with all the Clayr rushing around more than usual, she had better make herself scarce.

"Why not?" Imshi asked, blinking slowly. Then she stepped into the room and knelt in front of Lirael, reaching for her hands. "Oh...I didn't even think..." she breathed.

Lirael took her hands, but didn't look up at her. "It's never me," she whispered, tears spilling over. "It's never, ever me. I'm not going to put on that stupid blue tunic again."

Imshi moved to sit on the bed, wrapping her arms around Lirael and holding her close. "Shhh," she murmured reassuringly. "You don't have to."

Lirael curled into her embrace, burying her face in Imshi's white-clad shoulder. "I just want to be a proper Clayr," she sobbed. "I want to be like everyone else, for just this one thing."

"I know, I know," Imshi murmured, rubbing Lirael's back. "I mean...I don't, I can't imagine what you're feeling but...I'm here, Lirael. And I...I..." She kissed Lirael's temple. "I love you no matter what."

"I can't do this forever," Lirael said, shakily, trying to force herself to calm down. "I have to get the Sight soon, I have to."

Imshi took off her circlet then, tossing it onto the bed and looking more than a little relieved when she could run her fingers through her hair. She sat on the bed and pulled Lirael into her lap with surprising ease. Lirael clung to her as the tears continued for another minute or so.

"They're not going to let us have a bigger room," she said wetly. "I'm still just a stupid, Sightless child."

"You're not, you're a young woman," Imshi murmured. She lay down, still holding Lirael close. "Not having the Sight doesn't make you a child."

"Everyone thinks it does," Lirael argued unhappily. "If I hadn't tried...If I didn't have this job I would still be in the Hall of Youth and I'd still have to wear that horrible blue tunic."

Imshi sighed and kissed her forehead. "It’s ridiculous that they make you feel that way," she said softly. "Sighted or no, you're still a woman. And Sighted or no, you're still a Clayr."

Lirael shook her head against Imshi, but didn't argue otherwise. Eventually she said, "I'm making you miss the Awakening."

"It doesn't matter," Imshi said softly. "They'll probably give me extra shifts doing chores or something, but it's all right. I would rather stay with you."

"I'm sorry I'm so difficult," Lirael whispered.

"You're wonderful," was Imshi's reply, as she tightened her arms around her. "I meant what I said, I love you very much."

Lirael tightened her grip on Imshi's robe. "I...I love you too," she said quietly.

Imshi let out a content sigh, hugging Lirael tightly. "I do like just lying here with you..."

"I like it too," Lirael said, loosening her hold on Imshi's robe. "You look really pretty in your circlet."

"Oh." Imshi blushed slightly, then shifted to pull her circlet out from under her as she'd lain on it. "Thank you. I suppose I've gotten used to it."

"You look really pretty all the time," Lirael said, a tiny smile playing on her lips. "But you look especially pretty in your circlet."

Imshi giggled, then put her circlet back on and struck a bit of a pose. "Oh yes?"

Lirael nodded, her small smile sticking around. "Yes," she continued quietly. "Especially with your hair all funny like that."

"Like what? Like this?" Imshi ruffled her hair again, making the curls poke out at odd angles and become a bit tangled.

Lirael's smile inched wider. "Exactly like that," she said softly.

Imshi adopted a very serious expression. "I haven't a clue why you're laughing, I am a very important and respectable Clayr!" She then dove in and lightly tickled Lirael's side.

As though on cue, there was a sharp knock on the door, and Kirriths' stern voice called, "Lirael? Are you still in there?"

Lirael scrunched her eyes shut. "No," she whispered into Imshi's shoulder.

Kirrith unceremoniously flung the door open, letting out an exasperated huff as she stepped into the room. Her expression became a touch more confused when she saw the two girls curled up together on the bed. "Lirael...what..." She saw her niece hiding her face and decided to address Imshi instead. "You're both going to be late."

"I don't feel well," Lirael said, not moving. That wasn't exactly a lie, and she felt too drained to pretend she wasn't cuddling with Imshi.

"She really doesn't," Imshi said, holding Lirael closer and rubbing her back. "I was going to stay with her."

Kirrith sniffed. "Lirael, if you're really unwell you should go to the infirmary. Imshi, isn't it? You should know better. It's very rude to not attend someone's Awakening. Think how you would have felt if you know people didn't go to yours."

Imshi raised an eyebrow. "I really wouldn't have cared."

"I doubt the infirmary would help me," Lirael added glumly.

"What are you on about, the pair of you?" Kirrith asked, sounding more and more frustrated by the moment.

"Nothing." Lirael's head sank down to rest on Imshi's chest and she closed her eyes. "I just can't go."

"I don't have time for this," Kirrith snapped. "I'll deal with both of you later."

After she whirled back out again, Imshi let out a scoff. "She does realize I'm twenty-one and she can't punish me, right?"

Lirael shrugged disconsolately, feeling her tears coming back. "This is just going to keep happening," she whispered trying to convince herself of...something. "I should... I should just go..."

Imshi looked at her in confusion. "Go? Go where?"

"I don't know," Lirael said, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don't know."

For the first time, Imshi actually felt a flare of fear at Lirael's tone. Fighting back worried tears of her own, she kissed Lirael's forehead and took a deep breath before whispering, "Please don't...don't go somewhere I can't follow."

Lirael nodded, but it was a long time before she could bring herself to speak again. "Before I got my job I...I was going to jump off the glacier," she admitted quietly, closing her eyes again. "Sometimes I still think about it." Imshi's arms tightened around her."I just don't know what to do," Lirael whispered.

"You can always talk to me, when you feel like that," Imshi said. "I don't know if I can make it go away, but I can at least hold you and...and try to remind you that you're important."

"All right." Lirael promised, feeling just the slightest bit lighter. "That...that might help."

Imshi kissed her gently and caressed her cheek. "What if we take advantage of people being gone and go exploring?"

"I didn't think you liked exploring," Lirael said.

"I like exploring with you," Imshi said, smiling.

"We'll probably get in worse trouble..." Lirael said, though her expression had calmed.

"Assuming we get caught," Imshi smirked.

The mattress suddenly dipped under the added weight of another, albeit smaller body as the Dog appeared, sticking her nose against Lirael's ear. "You wouldn't go without me, would you?"

"You're the one who left!" Lirael protested, but she was smiling as she turned to wrap an arm around her friend. "I'm not even sure where we haven't been yet."

"Which is why you need me," the Dog reasoned. "I'll sniff something out. Though Imshi may want to change, or she'll get her robes dirty."

Looking considerably happier, Imshi nodded and got up to go fish her librarians uniform out of Lirael's wardrobe. Lirael flopped back on the bed, petting the Dog while Imshi changed, a pleased, content smile finally showing on her face.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Lirael felt more energized than she'd had all day, now that she had something to look forward to. Once Imshi was dressed and ready, they set out hand-in-hand with the Dog in the lead.

Imshi squeezed Lirael’s hand and smiled. "I'm rather excited now," she said breathlessly as they slipped into the almost entirely deserted library.

"It's kind of like hide and seek sometimes," Lirael said with a small smile, looking around to make sure no one was watching them. Luckily, Awakenings tended to last at least an hour or two, and they were likely to have the library all to themselves. The Dog led them down a side corridor that twisted away from the main hallway and it quickly became clear they were spiraling downwards—though they had yet to come across any doors leading off to the side.

"We must be heading into some kind of basement. I wonder if there's a map of the whole Glacier somewhere," Lirael mused. "With all the rooms on it, even the secret ones."

"That would be a fascinating discovery," Imshi said, then blinked as she realized the corridor had come to an abrupt end, and they were faced with what looked like a pair of very old vault doors. Lirael looked them over for a moment before approaching and resting her hands carefully on them, feeling for any Charter spells or free magic remnants that might warn of something dangerous hidden away. She wondered if her bracelet would open them, though she hadn’t heard the telltale click of a lock yet.

"The magic here is old," The Dog said. "Almost completely gone. You should try a spell, Mistress."

"Which one?" Lirael asked vaguely, though she was already pulling the Charter marks necessary to push and move heavy objects, one occasionally employed by librarians given too many books to deal with at once.

"How should I know?" the Dog said, sitting back and scratching her ear. It was just as well that Lirael wasn't actually listening at that point, releasing the small spell at the doors just to see what it did.

There was a grinding noise, and the doors budged ever so slightly inwards. The Dog perked up her ears and Lirael rested her palms on the doors, pulling the marks to create a similar spell of more strength, hoping to move them open them far enough to slip through.

Imshi was close behind her, looking excited as the second spell worked, moving the door open several feet, wide enough for them to enter without difficulty. She lifted her hand, sending a small mark for light soaring above and ahead of them. Each hidden room in the Glacier seemed to have its own special aura, and this one was no exception. The walls sparkled under Imshi's Charter light, and the stone of the floor was polished to almost a mirror finish.

"Oh..." Imshi breathed as they slipped inside. "Oh, this is stunning..."

Lirael let out a breathless laugh, looking around at the shining walls, which seemed to have colored glass embedded in them, though they were too far underground for them to be windows. "I wonder why it's hidden."

"I don't know," Imshi said. She walked over to one of the walls and ran both open palms over it, letting out a sigh. "It's beautiful though."

However far the other end of the room was, it wasn't illuminated by their Charter light or its reflections. "It’s so large, but it seems empty," Lirael said, looking around. "Can you sense anything Dog?"

"Nope," said the Dog, sniffing the air. "Shall we keep going?"

Imshi nodded, trailing her fingers along the wall as she once again moved to take Lirael's hand. They continued down the shining, but barren room for a few minutes, and it revealed itself to be more of a hallway than a room after a certain point. The floor had a barely noticeable downward slope, and the air grew almost imperceptibly cooler as they walked. Finally, the hallway opened up into a cavernous room of natural crystals, refracting their Charter light into a hundred little glimmers.

Imshi gasped at this new sight. "Goodness, I've certainly never even heard of this room before."

Lirael reached out to touch one of the shockingly large crystals, a look of utter wonderment on her face. "Maybe it’s been completely forgotten," she said.  
  
"Oh, that would be magical, wouldn't it? A place only we know of..."

"And such a pretty one too," Lirael said, looking out at the rest of the room again. "I hope nothing bad lives here."

"The hairs on the back of my neck are standing up," Imshi said, turning. She leaned back against the flat plane one of the crystals. "Not in a bad way, it's just...a new feeling."

"I wonder if this room used to be used for the Nine Day Watch," Lirael said, trying to think of a possible reason for the carefully constructed and beautiful hall leading up to this room.

Imshi gazed around. "It could have been, I suppose. I always thought it had been held in the same room forever but I suppose that doesn't really make sense."

Imshi started wandering towards the center of the space, though Lirael lingered on the edges. Watching Imshi walk out and look so completely like she belonged there, Lirael was hit by a confusing wave of love and envy. Imshi stopped when she reached the center and looked down. In the middle of the room was what looked like a circular window, but it was so dark that she couldn't see if anything lay under it.

Lirael noticed that something had caught her attention and headed over to her. "What is it?"

"I'm not exactly sure." Imshi crouched and squinted at the window. "It looks like there might be something beneath here."

Lirael looked at the dark glass, and felt a short spike of fear as she remembered the crystal coffin of the Stilken, though this was definitely different. "Can you see anything?"

"No." Imshi shook her head. She bit her lip, concentrating as she pressed her hand to the glass, casting a Charter light on the other side of it. At first, the light only revealed itself, reflecting strangely against the glass that Lirael realized must be an especially clear crystal, perhaps cut and polished flat on both sides. As their eyes adjusted, it was clear that there was in fact something below them.

Imshi tucked her hair behind her ear, leaning further down. "What is that?" she asked, putting her hands on the glass to support herself.

Lirael crouched and stuck her face close to the glass. "It looks like...a lake?" The light's reflection made it a bit difficult to be sure, but it seemed like a large, fairly still pool existed under the room they were in. As she kept looking, Lirael was sure she saw a large and oddly shaped shadow move through the water.

Imshi blinked in surprise, then added another light. "It looks like...a person? No..."

"Look, there's another one!" Lirael exclaimed. "They've got fish tails!"

"Oh!" Imshi let out one of her delighted little squeaks, covering her mouth with both hands. "They're so pretty! Look how shiny their tails are..." One of the mermaids turned enough that they could see her face, her skin colorless and eyes apparently blind from a lack of exposure to sunlight, their tails however looked more like opal than anything else. "I wonder if there's a way we could....go near the water...”

Lirael got up and started circling the edge of the room, creating her own Charter light to make sure she didn't miss anything. Behind a particularly interesting crystal structure, Lirael noticed what seemed like a hole in the floor, which, when she bent down with her light, revealed itself to be stairs. "Over here!" she called excitedly.

Imshi sprang up and ran over to her. "It smells like water down there," she said, and started down the stairs curiously. The Dog joined them a moment later, snuffling at the walls. They descended carefully, taking the stairs down to a natural rocky landing a few feet wide. The mermaids finally seemed to notice them, not having been able to see the lights earlier, ducking under the water as they heard their footsteps.

Their Charter lights flared above their heads, casting a dim glow over the water. Imshi sat on the rocky landing, reaching out to trail her fingertips across the surface of the water. "I wonder when the last time anyone came down here was..."

"I've never heard anything about it, and you'd think someone would talk about something like this," Lirael said, sitting as well on the slightly damp rock.

A hand shot quickly out of the water, grabbing Imshi's, which had been causing ripples much like a small fish would make. "Oh!" Imshi let out a surprised gasp at the sudden movement. She pulled her hand back, startled by the sensation of the cool, slick, and strong fingers that had curled around her own.

The mermaid, her hand the only part of her that was visible, felt around the edge of the rocky landing, searching for the thing that had slipped out of her grasp. Imshi hesitantly reached out again, brushing her fingers over the mermaid's hand. At the contact, the mermaid jerked her hand back, away from the ledge but not under the water. When nothing tried to eat her, she reached out again, her other hand appearing to grip the rocky edge and allow her to reach further in. Imshi giggled and looked at Lirael, before carefully covering the mermaid's hand with her own.

Feeling something that felt very much like her own hand, but somehow not wet, the mermaid pulled herself up, exposing her head and chest, keeping herself propped out of the water by resting an elbow on the ledge. She reached out with her other hand for Imshi's wrist feeling up her arm until the came to the cloth of her shirt, which seemed to confuse her. Lirael watched everything with an enthralled expression.

Imshi's blue eyes widened, and she smiled. "Hello," she said softly. Shooting another delighted smile at Lirael, she shifted to lie on her stomach, letting the mermaid curiously feel her arm.

"Well isn't this exciting," said the Dog as she moved to sit next to Lirael.

Lirael nodded, absently petting the Dog. "It's amazing," she whispered.

The mermaid tipped her head to the side at the noises, and let out a sound that was very much like a snippet of wordless song. Once she had gotten over the surprise of the cloth, she felt the rest of the way up Imshi's arm, reaching her face, which she gently examined.

Imshi leaned further over so the mermaid could feel her face more easily. "This is so exciting!" she breathed, before cautiously reaching out to touch the mermaid's cheek, hoping she wouldn't scare her away. The mermaid flinched away from the touch for a moment, as she had when Imshi had touched her hand, but let herself be touched when Imshi tried again. After a moment, the mermaid grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth. "Oh my." Imshi's eyes widened at the sight of the teeth. "They must be carnivorous."

Lirael nodded, hoping their adventure would stay nice. "Maybe she thought you were a fish at first."

The mermaid ducked under the water quickly and sang something sweet but muffled sounding. A moment later, she resurfaced, as did another. Imshi sat up, peering out as the other mermaid appeared. "I wonder how many live down here..."

The mermaids trilled something at each other, and possibly at Imshi, and both reached out toward her almost simultaneously. Imshi giggled and held out her hand to them, brushing her fingers against theirs. "Lirael you should feel their hands, their skin is so odd."

Lirael reached out toward the one closer to her, who let out a surprised noise when she realized there was another being on the rocks. "It seems...thicker, somehow," she observed.

The mermaids had another short exchange, and seemed to come to a decision. The one touching Imshi grasped her wrist and started to tug at her, not hard, but insistently. "I think they want us to come in the water," Imshi said, sounding sorely tempted.

The mermaid touching Lirael had gripped her wrist too, and was trying to gently pull her into the water. "It seems that way," Lirael said, a little thrill of fear rushing through her. "I hope they don't think we're food."

"Maybe they just think we're mermaids." Imshi drew back then and carefully removed her shoes and socks, then hiked her skirt up a little before dipping her feet into the water. She took the mermaid's hand again and placed it against her leg. "I don't have a tail like you!" she said, even though she knew they wouldn't understand her words.

"She's going to fall in," the Dog said unhelpfully. "She's going to fall in and get all wet."

Lirael tugged her hand away from her mermaid, before she inched over to Imshi, hoping she could keep her from being tugged in. The mermaid touching Imshi became very active, feeling down her leg to her foot and over to discover she had another one.

Imshi giggled at the feeling of the hands on her legs and feet. She smiled and leaned over to kiss Lirael on the cheek before leaning against her. "This is fun."

Lirael wrapped her arms around Imshi, mostly to keep her from falling in. "Yes, this is turning out rather well," she said, hoping she didn’t jinx it. The mermaid seemed to finally picture what Imshi must look like, but still didn't really understand, pushing her legs together as if they might stick and be a tail again.

The Dog now edged over, dipping her nose in and lapping up a mouthful of the water.

"Dog!" Imshi said, rolling her eyes.

The mermaid that had been touching Lirael noticed the disturbance and reached out quickly for the new thing. The Dog sniffed at the mermaid's hand. "They aren't Free Magic," she declared. "Not Charter either. They just seem to...be."

"I guess they're like any other animal then," Lirael said. "Though it seems strange to call them that." The second mermaid reached out far enough to touch the dog, seeming just as baffled by her fur as the other had with Imshi's clothes.

Imshi let out a startled noise and reflexively grabbed the first mermaid's hand as it crept a little too high up her leg. She swallowed. "They must be incredibly resilient, living under the glacier."

Lirael nodded, her chin digging into Imshi's shoulder for a moment. "I wonder what they eat down here," she said. "There must be other fish or something."

"Fish," the Dog confirmed. "I can smell it on her breath."

Imshi pulled Lirael's arms around her waist, contentedly kicking her feet in the water, which was cool, but not unbearable. At the new movement in the water, the mermaid ducked under, swimming around Imshi's feet two or three times before grabbing at them playfully.

Imshi wiggled her toes, laughing again. "We should come visit them more often...maybe we could try bringing them food and see if they like it?"

"Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea," Lirael said. "I wonder if there's anything in the books on them..."

"We could certainly research it," Imshi said, reaching out to touch the mermaid's hair, which turned out to be quite unlike a human's, with a texture very much like seaweed.

"I think I will," Lirael said. "I wouldn't want to give them anything that would make them sick."

"They're so strange, but so wonderful..." Imshi smiled and sighed, snuggling back against Lirael. "It'll be our secret."

"Yes," Lirael sighed, holding her closer for a moment. "This is definitely worth the trouble we're going to be in."

"They won't actually care," Imshi said, rolling her eyes. "People skip Awakenings all the time."

"Kirrith actually cares," Lirael sighed. "Or pretends she does really well."

"I'm just concerned that she'll make a big deal out of me being in your room," Imshi said. "I'm not sure how she is with that sort of thing."

"I don't know," Lirael said. "She's the Guardian of Youth, so I don't think she's all that used to it."

"I suppose we'll find out." Imshi sighed and turned to kiss her cheek. "I should explore with you more often."

"I'd like that a lot," Lirael said, smiling.

While Lirael and Imshi were distracted with one another, the second mermaid was trying to get the Dog to come into the water. The Dog finally gave in, diving in with a splash. When she resurfaced, it was clear her paws had become more like webbed fins, and she had apparently grown gills.

"Are you making new friends too?" Lirael asked the Dog as the mermaid swam joyfully around her.

The dog let out a happy woof, diving under the water then splashing up again. "This is rather nice!"

Imshi giggled madly. "Glad she's having fun as well."

"We could just stay here forever," Lirael suggested. "Though I guess maybe we'd want to eat sometime..."

"Yes, I don't think we could eat whatever they eat," Imshi said, "And I would miss the rest of the library."

"I suppose you’re right," Lirael sighed. "We'll just have to visit them often. Very often. And with swimming clothes."

They sat with the mermaids for a little while longer before Imshi reluctantly suggested it was time to head back. The other Clayr were likely to be returning from the Awakening by then, and it would be harder to explain why they were completely missing than why they’d skipped the Awakening itself. They said goodbye to the mermaids, though the creatures didn't understand the words, and headed back up the stairs and through the glittering corridor toward the library, with a new secret all to themselves.


	6. Chapter 6

The Dog vanished before they entered the main reading room where the others were beginning to file in. Vancelle was handing out job assignments for the day and gave them a rather surprised look. "Where did you two come from?"

Lirael just looked at her, blinking and waiting patiently for her assignment. Vancelle was certainly better to see than Kirrith, but she wanted to stay in the moment with the mermaids and Imshi, and talking would force her to be here and now instead.

"We were where everyone else was," Imshi said, trying and failing to sound innocent.

Vancelle clearly thought they had been up to something, judging by the amused look she shot them both. "Imshi, I need you in maps. Lirael, the bestiaries are a mess again..."

Lirael nodded seriously, doing a better job of seeming innocent than Imshi by simply ignoring the question of her innocence. She turned to go fix her section, slipping into her work without a word. Some time later, before Imshi had a chance to check in on her, Yanti made her way over to Lirael. "So where were you two, really?" she asked, smirking. "Because Imshi would've stood next to me if she was at the Awakening."

Lirael looked at Yanti for a moment, contemplating the effectiveness of just not answering, but she could talk today and silence rarely proved effective with people of her personality type. "I didn't feel well," she said finally. "Imshi stayed with me."

"Of course she did," Yanti said, still grinning. "She's a sweetheart."

"Yes," Lirael said, wondering why Yanti still looked so pleased with herself. "She's very nice."

"You've seemed a lot more cheerful lately," Yanti continued. "She must be doing something right."

"She does a lot of things right," Lirael said, keeping her expression neutral. "She's very good at knowing what other people need. I would have thought you'd have known that."

"Of course I know that," Yanti shot her a sideways look. "She's been my best friend as long as I can remember."

"Then I don't know why you seem so surprised that she makes me happy," Lirael said.

"Oh, my dear that's not what's surprising," Yanti said. "I knew she'd make a good girlfriend. Your relationship is just so....well I mean the fact that the two of you actually have a relationship is outside the norm."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lirael said with a sigh, turning to straighten the books again.

"Yes you do. Not many Clayr have exclusive relationships these days," Yanti said with a shrug. "But good for you two, you both seem happy."

Lirael had actually been expecting a very different response and paused in her work. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"In all seriousness, I hope you can help Imshi sort out her...you know, she's confused about a lot. A lot to do with herself," Yanti said vaguely. "Maybe you can help her figure that out because I haven't gotten anywhere."

"I'll certainly try," Lirael said, though she could only think of one thing that had come up on Imshi's side, and Lirael hadn't thought it was that big a deal.

"Oh good." Yanti beamed. "I've been concerned about her forever. She's very good with everyone but herself."

Lirael tried to think of a way to say 'oh, you're nicer than I thought you were,' without sounding terrible, but it didn't come to her. Instead she said simply, "I just want her to be happy."

"Well, you've as good a chance at that as anyone," Yanti said. "I don't even think she knows what makes her happy. I did try to help."

"I'm sure she appreciated your efforts," Lirael said. "She knows you've been worried about her."

"I'll try to stop worrying," Yanti said with a shrug. She peered at Lirael. "May I ask you something, though?"

"I suppose," Lirael said cautiously.

"You're what, fifteen?" Yanti said. "Why would you want to limit yourself like this? You can't have had much time to try everything yet...I mean, Imshi is lovely, but she's just another Clayr..."

"I don't need to try everything to know what I want," Lirael said. "Imshi is perfect and she's all that I need."

"If you say so," Yanti collected the books she'd been after and beamed. "I'll see you later, Lirael."

"Bye, Yanti," Lirael said, a small feeling of relief at having gotten through that conversation filling her.

A few hours later Imshi snuck up behind Lirael, wrapping her arms around her and lifting her off her feet. "Hello, dearest."

Lirael leaned back against her, closing her eyes and smiling. "Hi," she said quietly. "Today's gone by faster than I thought it would."

Imshi kissed her gently. "Mmm...I'm glad. I was busy bossing around the new girls."

"Did you have fun?" Lirael asked, smiling into the kiss.

"Oh yes," she said with a wicked grin. "Did you do anything exciting?"

"Just had a conversation with Yanti," Lirael said. "She wants me to try to help you or something. Which I will do, of course, but only if there is actually something you want help with."

Imshi blinked at her curiously, then rolled her eyes. "Oh, there isn't actually anything. She's just convinced I'm confused about my sexuality or something."

"If you are, I've done a lot of reading about stuff like that," Lirael said. "But labels are only useful if you like them. As long as you feel comfortable I don't think it really matters."

"I love you," Imshi said, hugging her close again. "That's about all I need to understand."

"I love you too," Lirael said quietly, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by her.

Imshi's head dropped to Lirael's shoulder, and it seemed an innocent enough gesture except she remained quiet for an unusually long time.

After a moment, Lirael put a gentle hand on her back. "Is something wrong?" she asked softly.

Imshi slowly lifted her head. Her eyes were wide, but glazed over with a faint, cloudy sheen. She gripped for a moment at the front of Lirael's waistcoat, lips moving wordlessly before she whispered, "They're going to get the wrong one, but it will be so much worse..." Still staring blankly, she faced Lirael for all of two seconds before collapsing to the floor in a dead faint.

Lirael didn't quite manage to catch her, and instantly felt guilty. She fell to her knees at Imshi's side, first patting her cheek and then gently shaking her, trying to wake her up. "Imshi?" she said, not as quietly as she should in the library. "Imshi, please wake up!"

Lirael's cry reached Vancelle, who came hurrying over to them. She clicked her tongue and knelt beside Lirael, peering down at Imshi. "What happened?" the Chief asked, putting a hand on Lirael's back.

"I think she had a vision," Lirael said, her distress increasing the longer Imshi was unconscious. "Then she just collapsed."

"Ah." Vancelle gave Lirael's arm a reassuring squeeze. "She's alright, dear, I promise." Then she lightly slapped Imshi's cheek and barked, "Imshi!"

"Ow..." Imshi groaned, squeezing her eyes tighter. She reached blindly for Lirael's hand, gripping it tightly when she found it.

Lirael squeezed her hand back, calming down a little. "Does that always happen?" she asked Vancelle, feeling a bit like a child for having to, but knowing she should be aware of things like this, in case it happened to Imshi again.

"No," Vancelle said, checking Imshi's pulse and then helping her to sit up. "Sometimes visions can be overwhelming, and the body just shuts down in response. Usually it's when the vision is a particularly strong one. Imshi is prone to stronger visions than most."

"I don't remember what I Saw," Imshi said with a sigh.

"You said something about someone getting the wrong one," Lirael said, though on its own, that statement didn't seem very helpful.

Imshi shook her head and shrugged.

"I'll tell Sanar and Ryelle that you should be on the next Watch roster," Vancelle said, still kneeling beside them and looking at Imshi with a thoughtful expression. "It might be you've just gone too long."

Lirael sat by Imshi's side, still holding her hand and feeling immensely useless but trying not to show it. As much as everyone liked to talk about how great the Sight was, they rarely said anything useful about it, and she felt entirely out of her depth.

Vancelle got to her feet once she’d assured herself Imshi wasn’t injured, and told them to find her if anything else happened. After she left, Imshi turned and buried her face in Lirael's shoulder. "I'm sorry.”

"I don't know why you're apologizing," Lirael said. "You're the one that collapsed. I didn't even catch you."

"Even if you did you might have just gotten knocked over," Imshi said, a faint bit of humor in her tone. She ran her hand over Lirael's arm. "You're so small."

"Are you really okay?" Lirael asked, looking at Imshi.

Imshi nodded, then smiled brightly. "That's happened once before. I don't even have a headache anymore. Really, I'm fine."

"All right," Lirael said, sighing in relief and slumping against her. Today had been rather overwhelming emotionally, and she was glad it was coming to a close.

Imshi hugged her tightly. "My precious girl," she breathed. The two of them remained there for a few minutes more enjoying the quiet of the library, until the floor became too uncomfortable to rest on any longer. The rest of the day passed quickly, and they spent a quiet night in with the Dog.

They continued to ponder the vision over the next few days, but as days became weeks, and weeks turned into months, and months to years, both girls all but forgot, settling into a comfortable and (relatively) happy routine together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


End file.
